Friends Don’t Let Friends Grieve Alone
Easter Sunday – April 1, 2018 will be my ninth birthday since Pastor Paul, my husband of twenty-eight years had the fatal motorcycle accident that tore him from my arms and caused his untimely home-going. I treasure remembering joyful birthdays past with him and the years we spent with our children. I cherish revisiting the family memories of Paul’s sarcasm, humor and many ways of entertaining us. Paul and I were born the same year, my birthday on April 1 and his the 29th, and for twenty-eight days every April, I would be teased for being “the older woman.” Through discussions in my GriefShare group.
Although moving into this truth was excruciatingly painful, it was an important and essential part of my personal healing process. “God binds up the brokenhearted and heals their wounds.” Psalm 34:18
Grief is difficult.
Grief is emotion-filled, change, intense emotional suffering derived from a Latin verb meaning burden. Everyone has grief but mourning is a choice. You cannot make grief better, make it go away, fix it or just ‘get over it.’ You must go through it. The work of grief is important. “You and I will be different because of our grief.” H. Norman Wright in his book, Experiencing Grief Most of us do not know how to grieve nor do we want to admit the fact that mourning is an essential part of grieving.
My most re-pinned quote on Pinterest “Grief changes us, the pain sculpts us, into someone who understands more deeply, hurts more often, appreciates more quickly, cries more easily, hopes more desperately, loves more openly” author unknown
Grief is something you must complete successfully in order to resolve your grief and move into mourning. You must work at grief actively if you are to resolve it in a healthy fashion. This is something difficult yet important to do. Our grief work involves mourning not only the person you’ve lost but the hopes, dreams. We must go beyond our reactions in order to face the loss and work on adapting to it. There are stages we go through which are normal, it helps to understand and anticipate them. When we understand grief, we should be encouraged to do our own grief work and walk with others who are working on their own grief. The worst grief is what someone goes through personally. The most traumatic grief is when someone walks alone in their grief.
Make a choice now to reach out to the grieving. You can find a GriefShare group in your own area by logging onto www.griefshare.org – group locator, put in your zip code. Ask your grieving friend or relative to join you as you face the future together without your loved one. Send a sympathy card to each of those you know who’ve lost a loved one this past year. Mention their lost loved one’s name in the card, send an encouraging verse about heaven and the fact that you are praying for them. Offer to join them at a Remembrance Service. Offer to visit their loved one’s grave with them.
Which one of your friends needs you to join them as they walk through their grief?
“Father, thank you for new life in Christ. Help me to serve you by entering into others’ grief as you did when you reached out in love. Give me wisdom and grace to know how to serve and love them in their loss. Thank you for the hope of heaven. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Rev. 21:14